‘Twas early morn on Primrose Hill
When Ted tried his final move
From 8pm to 6am
His love he wants to prove

He had the hots for Vera, a stunning buxom lass
With her hour-glass figure, she was not from working class.

The meal of seven courses that was aiming to impress
Made very little progress, on removing Vera’s dress

The champagne he had planned had cost him near a ton
His efforts all in vain, as it all went down in one

He still had eyes for only this voluptuous bottomless pit
He would give his last penny for her to stay where she did sit
 

‘Coffee back at mine?’ she said, with a sparkle in her eye
But just an offer of a dog walk, in the park nearby

The three sat on the bench side by side by side
His last plan in hand trying very hard to hide

The dog’s eyes were watching Ted’s every little move

With the mutt out of the way, his love he then could prove
Dog biscuit in orbit, dog’s fangs holding tight
The tease was now over, Vera’s love was now in sight

​

Who would have thought the turning-point a dog biscuit could bring?
Ted and Vera now together without costing one damn thing!